Tuesday 18 February 2014

The Serious Vampire

Our story begins somewhere in deep forests of Western Ghats. A place very isolated from normal human life. There was a village named Vpur. Sounds weird, isn’t it? So to understand what are we doing in Vpur village of western Ghats. Let’s take a flashback, two hundred twenty years ago…
 
The day was 21’st November 1783, in Paris, France, the first un-tethered manned hot air balloon show was performed by the guys having very complex French names.
 
This flashback thing will take a while, but for the sake of the story I will go little fast. So French guys test their hot balloon aircraft and but there was an ambitious vampire who was bored from drinking French blood. So he stole the aircraft. You must be thinking how? Come on, he was a Vampire.
 
Moving forward, after drinking a lot of European and Middle East blood, he came to India. This reminded of you something? Something you read in history? Exactly, this guy followed the Mughals footsteps. But here is the twist, Mughals attacked Delhi and this guy came to Western Ghats. The Balloon got deflated and he had no idea how to fix it. Why? Come on he was a Vampire. They are dumb.
 
 
So our Vampire had no option other than to build a hut there, survive on animal blood and live in lonely Western Ghats. But that worst was still to come. He fell in love with an Indian girl there, who was searching for her lost goat. I know what you are thinking, how? And probably the answer you are expecting is “come on he was a Vampire” but this time it was not his inhuman quality which got him the girl.
 
Then what? You are probably wondering? Right? Come on, the guy was from Paris, Mecca of lovers. White skin, foreign accent, wearing trousers. I hate to say that but any girl would fall for him.
 
 
So he married the girl, had two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. And his life began. His children grew old had their children and they had theirs and so on. And after two hundred twenty years we are here in VPur a village full of species who are half vampire and half human.
 
Well, now the story gets serious. The Vampires of Vpur were living happily and prosperously from past two hundred years without harming any human life and surviving on animal blood.But!! yes we have a but and very Serious wala BUT.
 
As world got globalised, we Indian’s got lot of things such as Facebook, Pizza, Dish TV, AIDS, Spy pen Camera with 16 GB memory which you use as pen drive also just for 599/- INR. Oops!! sorry I got little distracted.But amazing product, right?
 
Anyways apart from these things Vpur got something extra, Huge and funded by government. Government?Your eyes must have widened and eyebrows rose? But that's not the point I am trying to make. The point is, a wild life sanctuary was built near Vpur village. That means the days of free food were over.
 
The happy days were about to get over. Soon the houses having refrigerator full of blood had empty bottles in it. The sharp, long tooth’s of Vampires there lost its shine. The animals got less and the humans increased.
 
You must be thinking, why they are not feeding on humans? Well, funny story. You remember the first vampire, the one whose balloon got deflated, I mean hot air balloon. Well, He married that girl and everything was fine for some days but honeymoon period ends and wife is wife. Whether you are Vampire or own an Empire, you can’t make her happy.



He was so annoyed from her that he joined some revolutionary organisation sometime in 1900’s. Luckily he attended some Bapu’s Session on Ahimsa. He got inspired by Bapu’s thought so much that he decided no human blood shall enter the throat of any resident of Vpur.
 
But let’s get real. He had nothing better to do. But a vampire never betrays his word. Till this moment no one ever in Vpur has tasted human blood.
 
The condition was getting serious day by day in Vpur. The food supplies were getting over. They cant even break in the sanctuary and steal, they can’t hurt human. What to do? Was the Facebook status of most people of Vpur.
But when a demon rises a savior is always born. Well, technically in this case Vpur residents were demon though not by nature.
 
So where was I, Yes saviour. There was someone in Vpur village who was more concerned than just updating his status. The Son of daughter of the vampire who’s balloon got deflated two hundred twenty years ago, VigneshAnna Murgesh Pallab Indresh Ratan Evan. In short Vampire, the serious Vampire.
 
Vampire had some plans, some serious plans. The one which should attract people in a very benevolent way, Since Vpur village had its pillars on ahimsa so it should be something humans do themselves. And it was Blood Donation Camp.
 
But how and who were the target audience? Was the question asked by the villagers to vampire. But he had everything figured out.
 
The blood donation camp was planned to setup in front of wild life sanctuary. Yes the same sanctuary which made them thirsted for single drop of blood and the donater's would be the tourists who come to see the wilds.
 
Everything was setup. The plan was to run the camp for a month and the Tag line was “If you have come to see the wild, then please donate blood to our child”. I know what are you wondering? Tag Line-yucks. Right. But come on! They are Vampire’s this is the best they can do. They are good suckers, I mean good at sucking blood not writing tag lines.
 
So the day arrived, the first donator came, then second, then third and so on. It was full house for two weeks. Happiness ran again into the Vpur village. The shine came back on long sharp teeth’s, now they were sucking stomach full of blood. The go-downs got full.
 
But, yes again a But. It seems that after donating the blood, some tourist visited the sanctuary. And while treating their eyes with the nakedness of wild. They fell unconscious and became treat to some wilds.

And rest you know RTI, Media, women empowerment. Oops!! Not woman empowerment.
 
Soon the Vpur village became hub of journalist, TV reporters. Every activity got amplified in there. From the tiger that ate the tourist to the Blood Camp organised by Vampire. First it was praised as noble act by the media. And later in the evening when they went to bar of Vpur. Bar? Eyebrows rose? Well Vpur was the most developed Vampire village, though it was the only one. Not only bar, it had discotheques too but we will go back to later.
 
So after a long day of reporting, Cameraman Deepak went to local bar. He ordered The Regular.
 
“Wow!! You served me Vodka with cranberry juice. I love it.” Was the reaction of Deepak The cameraman when the bartender gave him the Regular.
 
But a drinker knows his drink. Deepak The Cameraman after taking the sip got to know “This is not what he thought he is drinking. But he is thinking right, what he is drinking.”
 
A soldier is never off duty, so is neither a Cameraman. He slipped his hands into the pocket and guess what? He took out that, Spy pen Camera with 16 GB memory which we can use as pen drive also, just for 599/- INR. I told you it’s amazing but anyways let move on with the story.
 
Deepak The cameraman covered the biggest story of the year. The Blood Smugglers.
The village was raided and tonnes of blood bottles were found. Vampire got arrested and all his colleagues. The food depository accumulated by him was gone in seconds. And the Vpur village was named as the Village of blood smugglers. Leaving them in a serious condition.
 

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